Pain and Misunderstanding.

Pain and Misunderstanding.

 

Trial by self Part 1. The charges.

 

You stand accused of being a bad person

How do you plead?

 

Guilty as charged.

 

You stand accused of being of worthless

How do you plead?

 

Guilty as charged

 

You stand accused of being unlovable

How do you plead?

 

Guilty as charged.

 

Trial by self Part 2. The Evidence.

 

The evidence for these matters are manifold,

why else would I tempt an adult to sexual acts.

No good child would invite this corruption.

 

What else explains that my body responded?

What else but badness accounts for my silence?

What else could it be, that this continues to fit?

My appetites persist in proving these charges.

 

I continue to find the traces in my heart.

The hot flush of shame haunts any moment

where good threatens or asserts, I always

find shadow even when light beckons.

 

I watched the worthy receive the tokens

wondering why I was ignored, neglected,

why I was so far down the list, then it made sense,

It was me, who was the unworthy impediment.

 

 

Trial by self Part 3 The Sentence

 

You will forever keep your head down.

You will always reject love.

You will never know what it is to be safe.

You will never understand what is a healthy boundary.

 

Trial by self Part 4. The Appeal.

 

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Written by Francis de Aguilar ©2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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