Fine Thanks

Fine Thanks.

 

There are words to use.

There are words to lose.

I need to tell you about my world.

I need to choose how to use

the ways to speak that find a way

to say those things I need to say.

 

When I try, fear rises like a curtain.

Exposed and brittle I’m almost certain

I will break if you see me, or me, or me.

But I need you to know me as I am, alone

hunting for the words to say what I need to say.

What words avoid fear? what words avoid pain?

 

Why is who I am so concealed, hiding from what?

Why is my inside so ashamed, afraid to be blamed

while my outside, so bold, cannot be told

the truth, or revealed as a sham, just a shield.

I have a hall of mirrors I wear like a cloak

reflecting whatever pleases you most.

 

Just say I to were try it and show you inside it,

that’s all there is, I’d have nothing left to use

No more control, no more variations

no more defenses, no more tricks.

A naked matrix of a fragile soul

assembled by chaos and less than whole

 

How can you not judge what you find?

Despite their entreaties everyone does.

These years of protection have ensured survival

but I fear that the cost is resilience lost.

So I’m fine, I love you and I’m sorry I’m quiet

I’m a man of few words on an emotional diet.

 

 

Written by Francis de Aguilar©2014

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